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Mothers, Sons & Daughters: Dating advice

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Charm asked our mothers and daughters "Moms, what dating advice do you give to your daughter? Your son?" and "Kids, how does your mom's advice impact your decisions?" and here's what they said below.

Gaylyn Worthington, 42, of Longview and her children Emily, 14, and Wes, 17
 
Connie Rosen, 46, of Kilgore and her children Kayla, 18, and Colby, 16
 

GAYLYN WORTHINGTON, EMILY AND WES OF LONGVIEW

Gaylyn, 42: To my daughter, I say your worth is greater than a single moment. Seek out quality in companionship. If a young man should begin to try to control you, you should question the purity of his motives. Remember Corinthians 1:13 and how God tells us how to give and receive love. Look for someone who will open the car door or pull out your chair. Seek someone who can see how special you are will want to be respectful toward you. I speak openly with her about sex and matters relating to it while stressing the great consequences. I remind her if she doubts her instincts about someone to look to her family. They know you best; they loved you first and will always be there for you.

To my son, I say remember Corinthians 1:13 as a guide to understanding how to achieve sustaining love. I gently remind him the young ladies he takes out are someone else's daughters and he should be mindful and respectful of this fact. I suggest he open doors for them, and allow them to enter and exit a room first. Oftentimes, it takes young men a long time to understand the importance of these very simple gestures of kindness and adoration; but I assure him that to be a gentleman in all things is a sign of maturity and respect for self and others. I speak openly with him about sex as well, and remind him that while there are pressures in our society, it takes a strong man to be his own man.

Emily, 14: I respect my mother's advice. I'm sure she knows best since she has been through the whole dating experience. We have similar tastes as well. I want someone who will bring me flowers, open the car door and bring me soup when I'm sick. She's very open with me about everything, even awkward things that you couldn't imagine talking to your own mother about. But I don't feel that way when we talk. She just wants me to be informed. To me it is a sign of love. She cares, and she doesn't mind going to prison if a boy breaks by heart! She's an amazing mother, and I'm so glad I have her.

Wes, 17: G's words of advice have helped me throughout my dating years. Girls seem to compliment me more when I follow her instructions. Therefore, I come to G more often now that I know it really works to listen to a her. Then again, she does have some pretty crazy things that I will never follow in order to keep my pride still intact!

CONNIE ROSEN, KAYLA AND COLBY OF KILGORE

Connie, 46: To my daughter, I say be your sweet self always, and treat your date the way you expect to be treated by him. Also, have fun together. Dating is just about spending quality time with someone that you have chosen to spend your time with so enjoy each other. Be polite to your date and expect the same treatment in return. Always wait for him to walk you to the door at the end of your date (that's just good manners on both your parts), and thank him for a nice time (even if you didn't really have that much fun) — it's just the right thing to do.

To my son, I say always treat your date with respect. Pick her up on time, meet her parents, shake her Dad's hand and assure him that he doesn't have to worry about his daughter's safety while she's out with you. Be nice and use your manners (and expect the same from your date), open the car door for her and, at the end of the date, have her home on time and always walk her to her front door.

My final advice is for both of them: Only date young men and women that share your same values. Always listen to your inner voice when you're out — it's OK to politely cut the date short and come home if something doesn't feel quite right. Make good choices.

Kayla, 18: My mom has been through pretty much everything that I'm going through now so when she gives me advice I listen. Even if the advice isn't exactly what I want to hear, I can't help but follow it because her advice has always helped me. She has taught me to have fun and enjoy the time that we are spending together, and to expect my date to be a gentleman. She has taught me that if you expect to be treated with respect and courtesy, that's how your date will treat you.

Colby, 16: My mom has taught me to be polite to girls and to use my manners. Also, if I treat them with respect, they will be nice in return. She says there are appropriate times for everything, but it is always appropriate to be kind to girls. She said even if you find that you aren't really having much fun, you still have to be nice and polite to her and always walk her to the door at the end of the date.





 

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