A young boy had just gotten his driving permit.

He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the family car.

His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it."

A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get a haircut!"

The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair and even Jesus had long hair."

His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"

*****

Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was.

Grandma answered, "39 and holding."

Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how old would you be if you let go?"

*****

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, sir," the employee replied.

"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!"

*****

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Hunting flies," he said.

"Oh. Are you killing any?"

"Yep. Three males and two females," he said.

Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell them apart?"

He responded, "Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone."