American etiquette authority Emily Post wrote that proper behavior was a manifestation of common sense coupled with consideration of other people. At a formal or semi-formal dinner occasion, there are appropriate do's and don'ts. The rules of etiquette can be quite involved, so Charm put together a cheat sheet to help make your dinner party a success this holiday season.
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The table
To become a master entertainer, lay some groundwork. The foundation for this occasion is the table setting. Consider setting your table long before your guests knock at your door. First impressions are paramount, and a well-set table says, "Welcome, I've been expecting you."
Cindi Rains, owner of The Protocol School of East Texas, in Henderson, Rangerette protocol advisor, and Henderson High School English teacher, believes "people shouldn't be intimidated by all the different silverware and glassware" when arranging table settings.
A neat trick that Cindi teaches is to connect your index finger to your thumb and hold the other three fingers up. Do this on both hands and look: your left fingers will make a "b" for "bread on the left" and your right fingers will make a "d" for "drinks on the right," for proper place setting.
Spacing is the main focus when setting a formal table. The centerpiece is placed in the middle of the table, each place setting is equidistant from the other, and flatware is balanced around the plate. Decorations, such as candles and flowers, can then be thoughtfully placed in the empty areas.
The evening
This is the part of formal dinners that makes people nervous. There is an excess of traditional etiquette rules; Cindi narrowed these rules down to a handful for Charm.
"Don't feel compelled to watch other people. This will make you self-conscious," Cindi said.
Proper dining etiquette was "never intended as a way to show off; everyone should feel welcome," states Rains.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make, according to Cindi, is "eating with your mouth open or stuffing your mouth with food." When asked about cell phone etiquette, Cindi believes that if you are expecting an "emergency phone call," then put the phone on vibrate, place it on your lap and cover it with your napkin. When your call comes through, politely ask to be excused and leave the table. But, definitely no texting allowed.? It is also a good idea to inform the host and all guests ahead of time that you may need to take a call and, essentially, apologize in advance.
The toast
Everyone wants the toast to be a success, so just relax and have a little fun with it. Speeches don't have to be spontaneous, but are better if they appear to be. A little preparation will make a huge impact. There's no need for a toast to be over a minute or two long. Stand, acknowledge the hostess, throw in some humor and make it sincere — now you have a great toast! Cheers from Charm!
