Jan Gregston, 52, knows that in order to see real beauty in life, it's important to focus on the big picture instead of the occasional setback.
Each person has her own big picture. Today, Jan's picture includes the life she has made with her husband Mark, her children Melissa and Adam, her work with Heartlight Ministries in Hallsville and, above all else, her walk with God.
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Jan Gregston, 52, enjoys the work she does for teens and their families at Heartlight Ministries in Hallsville.
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But before she could fully enjoy her blessings in life, Jan had to face a serious demon.
"Thankfully, I had God on my side," she said. "If I hadn't had my faith, I wouldn't be my whole, healthy self now."
Her demon
When Jan was only 13, she was sharing in girl talk at a slumber party. She made what she thought was an innocent comment about her grandfather's affection, and at that moment Jan's difficult journey to self-discovery began.
"I had been sexually abused by my grandfather since I was five years old," Jan said. "I had trusted and loved this man, and in return he had deceived me and used me for all those years. For years after that night (at the slumber party) I really struggled to cope with my life and who I really was."
The abuse left Jan feeling disregarded, disrespected and devalued. For a long time she tried to counteract those feelings by taking on a "good girl" persona. She worked to make sense of her life by making everything, namely herself, perfect. That only led to more frustrations and, ultimately, depression.
"I would constantly find myself saying to God, 'I'm such garbage. Why on earth did you create me?' I knew I must have had a purpose, but I couldn't see the big picture. Later on I realized that He could see it ... He saw it all along."
Her picture
Jan married Mark right after college and they shared a passion that would bring them from Tulsa, OK, to Hallsville: youth ministry. They spent some time in Tulsa working with the Young Life program, then moved to Branson, MO, to work at a Christian athletic camp. Today they're happy to call Heartlight Ministries home.
Since 1989 Jan and Mark have been providing an environment for teens who are struggling with their home lives, whether the hard times are due to divorce, death, victimization or a form of abuse resulting in behavioral problems. This co-ed, year-round program has been home to teens from all across the country. There, Jan and Mark can care for, counsel and mentor teens during difficult times.
"This is our passion, not just a job," Jan said. "We work with kids from all circumstances and help them come face to face with God during their struggles."
Jan now knows that heartaches and pains from her past have enabled her to grow closer with the Lord so that she is better able to minister to troubled teens. She now sees her big picture, and it couldn't be sweeter.
"Because of my abuse, my relationship with God grew to be more authentic and real than I could have ever imagined. The hardest thing I had to walk through in life is what makes me who I am," Jan said. "To sum up my favorite chapter in the Bible, Isaiah 61, Christ came to change our ashes into beauty. That verse is my life."
