At some time during a relationship, whether it?s a marriage or a budding romance, the thought may creep into your mind, "Things are getting a little tough. I wish I had an owner?s manual for this!"
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Justing and Tonya Waite, program directors of Longview's VOW program.
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Billy and Virginia Taylor, mentors.
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No, Charm hasn't discovered an owner's manual for you to flip through, but we have looked into Longview Wellness Center's VOW program. This program is designed to help people build stronger relationships, and, so far, it's proving to be a success!
We sat down with Tonya and Justin Waite, the program directors, to find out just what this program is all about.
The grant
Social service has always been a true passion for high school sweethearts Tonya and Justin. In 1999, Tonya was the director of the Virginity Rules program, mentoring kids ages 12-18, but she really wanted to take it to the next level – college students, young adults and even older couples whose relationships needed enrichment.
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families (ACF) awarded the Longview Wellness Center a $1.5 million grant so it could provide marriage education to the public. Tonya and Justin were immediately on board.
"School districts and students are so hungry for this kind of education," Tonya said. "With this grant, we're able to take this education beyond classroom walls. We're able to mentor any couple in any of the eight counties the grant was designed to cover."
The goals
VOW serves an eight-county region – Camp, Gregg, Harrison, Marion, Rusk, Smith, Panola and Upshur – with a total population of a little more than 480,000 residents. A few of the goals for this grant include:
PREPARE/ENRICH marriage program "I could go on and on about how awesome this program is," Tonya said. "It's about marriage education, not marriage counseling. Since March 2006, we've had more than 400 couples graduate from this program, and all but two couples have had positive results."
In the beginning, a couple takes an inventory, or survey, separately. These surveys are then scored, based on the answers given, and then six appointments with a mentor are scheduled.
"These surveys score you on everything from spiritual beliefs to leisure activities to communication skills. Then, couples are placed into one of five categories: vitalized, harmonious, traditional, conflicted and devitalized," Tonya said. "Even if you think your relationship is totally vitalized, you could still benefit from going through this program."
SoulMate "This program really allowed us to carry the Virginity Rules program to the next level," Tonya said. "It's all about finding the right person for you, being the right person for your partner, developing relational skills and making marriage work."
The curriculum provides students with interpersonal skills essential for successful relationships and healthy marriages.
Enrichment weekends "Couples who have graduated from the PREPARE/ENRICH program get together and spend a weekend at Sky Ranch with other graduates," Tonya said. "This is a really good time for them to get to know each other better."
The mentors
Virginia and Billy Taylor have been together for 20 years. They have six kids, and they have been mentors with the VOW program since the spring of 2007.
"I have been a marriage and family therapist for some time, but my husband and I wanted to see what VOW was all about," Virginia said. "Every couple has some problems, and we were aware of ours. We knew it was time to work on some things. Once we graduated, our relationship went from traditional to vitalized, which is an amazing improvement."
As mentors, Virginia and Billy work together to enrich other couples' lives.
"It's important, especially once you're married, to work to stay together and find out what makes each other tick," Virginia said. "We've talked to all kinds of couples — we've talked to couples that have been married for 30 years and those that are just now dating. Whatever the situation, it's important to remember that you love each other."
Not only have they seen couples in all stages of life, but also all stages of a relationship – even marriages teetering on the edge of divorce.
"It's important to remember: it's not who is right but what's the right thing to do now," Virginia said. "Can a marriage on the brink of divorce be saved? I've seen it happen at VOW. I think everyone should embrace the VOW program and come see for yourself."
